Make friendship with your subpersonalities

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TandM

Performance Coaching With Krisztina Benczik

You don’t need to be #schizophrenic to have #subpersonalities

Roles are important in our life: mother/father, sister/brother, son/daughter, boss, employee, lover, sportwo-man, businesswo-man, friend, writer, car-lover, whatever!

I cannot get responsibility because of…

I cannot do any sports because of…

I cannot meet friends because of …

I cannot change my job because of…

I cannot have a family because of….

I cannot cook because of…

I cannot go on holiday because of…

Etc.

Do you think you block yourself?

Have you heard about subpersonalities?

No, you don’t need to be #schizophrenic to have #subpersonalities.

And I hope you have several ones!

The conflict comes if one subpersonality locks horns with one subpersonality of another. And that is time and energy-consuming.

WHY?

Because you can stick yourself, deny your access to your interesting, creative, humorous, appropriate, ….part.

Or, it can happen you identify yourself with an activity, a type of hobby, a friend, an object…. take care about it as it can become superficial. And if you don’t have IT anymore, the big crash arrives.

I love the “symphony orchestra” metaphor:

  • Each plays a different instrument, but they can be grouped.
  • Each musician tries his instrument before a concert and they make a noise incredible.

Then, the conductor comes out and harmony is heard.

How can you find harmony among your roles?

All of them need to go in the same direction.

Set up your inner orchestra, and conduct it to find your BALANCE!

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What did you expect?

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…Alias Patience

TandM

Performance Coaching With Krisztina Benczik

What did you expect?

It is time, time, time…

…to be patient or not to be patient?

I was not a patient person, and even today, I can lose my zen part.

With others and with myself also.

What about you? 

Why are we impatient?

Because of our EXPECTATIONS!

 

Do you remember the Schweppes ads?

 

  1. In most cases, we fight against of environment. Do you think it will change just for you right now? I think it is more sure if you find other solutions.

Ex: traffic jam at 5 pm.

  1. We hope people will conform to our expectations, but we are all different and with different backgrounds, habits, and capacities to practice It is unnecessary to think that everyone has the same social and emotional intelligent qualities.

Ex: your colleague speaks loudly in the office.

  1. We think we must manage new activity immediately, or even be a master of that! Maybe, you have already got the knowledge, but you need time to practice it. It takes time….Practice compassion with yourself and empathy with others.

Ex: your team is trained for a new software application.

  1. We have non-realist expectations to control all of our thoughts and emotions. On average, we have 6200 thoughts per day, so it is normal to accept to manage them. At the same time, you need to practice staying more focused on one subject.

Ex: you think about your weekend program already Wednesday but you should finish already a presentation before.

 

What do you think?

  • Do you get clear answers to your questions?
  • Do you have stable confidence in yourself?
  • Can you show your limits with calm in different situations?
  • Do you manage efficiently your time and your tasks?
  • Can you smile even in stressful situations?
  • Do you dare use humor?

Have you answered ‘NO’? => drop a message to me to speak about.

Have you answered only ‘YES’? => Congrats! drop a message to me to celebrate it!

 

==========

 

BTW, Patience is the ability to

  • stay peaceful and calm when waiting for a “long” time;
  • remain calm and stay relaxed when dealing with problems or with difficult people;
  • to give attention to something for a long time with interest and engagement. 
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It is time to “Personalize your lifestyle”

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TandM

Performance Coaching With Krisztina Benczik

It is time to “Personalize your lifestyle”

Everybody gives advice on how to save time and how can be more efficient: get up at 4 am, read emails in the morning or evening, avoid multitasks, have a cold shower in the morning, have breakfast –or not, do yoga,…never-ending list!

I am just asking if we get up at 4 am, we need to go to bed at around 10 pm. So, what if: we sleep between 12 and 6 am? Some people need to sleep 4 hours or 9 hours to be productive and happy. So, why should we get up at 4 am? You are not an early bird, so just accept it!

Some profession does not allow checking emails only in the morning and in the evening.

Being multitasked can create more creativity for someone.

Etc.

Why should you follow THE advice of the others?

You copy the “how” from the others. These “how” are strange to your body and your thoughts, so you force yourself to apply them (because this “how” works in the case of your best friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc.) and you set up rules but you are not able to follow them. And you create frustration by yourself.

It is useful to listen to and hear all advice, of course as “Wise men learn by other men’s mistakes, fools by their own”.

BUT!

Please, find out by yourself (or with help of a coach) which method, which way, and how do YOU prefer to proceed to achieve what YOU would like.

You need to PERSONALISE all wise advice if you would like to avoid creating just rules and frustration and have more energy and save time every day.

I hope to meet you soon!

 

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How do you like Potential & Performance words?

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TandM

Performance Coaching With Krisztina Benczik

How do you like Potential & Performance words ?

I can see a lot of people run away reading and hearing the words potential and performance.

At the same time, these words are everywhere in our daily life.

 

You go out to have dinner, you would like to eat some delicious food, so your expectation is the cooker perform well.

Or, at least you expect the teachers to have enough capacity (=potential) to accompany your children to develop their (hidden) potentials.

You like when your car is reliable in any season, you can use your air-conditioning in hot summer or the heating in the wintertime. So, performance is there again. Etc etc.

You have a personalized level of potential which is linked to your background, education, heritage, envy, motivation, experience, energy, mindset, life story…

You cannot use all your capacity in one shot. Capacity changes in time.

You have ambitions & projects in all your life. You learn new things and meet new people so your potential will grow. Sometimes it takes shorter and sometimes it takes longer to exploit and to implement your potential before jumping to another level of performance.

Sometimes it takes less and sometimes it takes more energy to exploit and to implement your potential before jumping to another level of performance.

Would you like to accelerate and stabilize the procedure?

Coaching can be a trampoline for you and for your team: to save time and to maintain your energy.

Do you have any questions or are you looking for more hands-on guidance? => Contact

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